I*L*U*

Moon Child toilet paper roll cuff! ~I*L*U*~

Where Did YOU Go?

Crash. Thud. I heard you before I saw any of you. She spoke with a voice that was not her own. It was one of pain, But not just any pain, The pain of years of trying too hard for what seems like no point. It was with the pain of cutting your own stomach open and pulling out your intestines, Followed by your liver and then your heart. But you only had one arm with two fingers missing, The other having been cut off previously by your own hand. It took a long time. Longer than anyone could ever imagine, And after you finally have all your organs out, Laying on the table, The Doctor looks them over and says. "Their insufficient. Toss them out." You then lie there, bleeding As you watch them dispose of your organs. Each one going to waste, And all your tedious work for naught. It is with this pain, she spoke, In a voice that was not her own. Everything she said, She meant. She was serious. Watching her talk, Was like watching her die, Slowly. Hearing her voice was like needles, Stabbing in my ears. It was unbearable. You could see her, at her wits end, Falling apart right in front of our eyes. This last rock had finally shattered, the previously cracked glass, That is a human being. She didn't like the voice, You could see it in her eyes. I think I was the only one who noticed. She had no other choice though. She had already expired all her other options to the point of debt. It was her last stand. Her final proclamation. Then there was him, Who watched the whole thing unfold, With tired in his eyes. He didn't say much in front of us, He never does. He threw in his logically questions occasionally, But this death scene was between her and you. It was as if neither he, nor I existed. He came back later though, After we both had left. As a matter of fact he's still there. He doesn't want to accept that there is nothing he can do. He thinks that if her keeps on, Maybe he will finally be able to change you, to help you. But he can't, None of us can, And you know it. He tries, hard, and he really means well. He has to do that to be able to say he did everything he could. It's his form of not feeling guilty about it, I suppose. It is sad in a pitiful way. Pitiful like a lost puppy stranded in a pool, And there is not way he could get out, And you know he will eventually drown, But he keeps on swimming anyway, Because he doesn't know that. He is pitiful in the way that a horse is, Once it's broken it's leg, You know he has to die, But he doesn't. Maybe because he doesn't want to. \Then there is you. You sit there and you roll your eyes, And say how unfair this all is. You don't understand, And you don't want to. You blame them for what you did. You blame everyone for something, And nothing for everything. You don't see how what they did, Saved you. You don't care that we all know that you don't care. When asked who loves you, You say you don't know. That hurt, And "hurt" is too small a word to properly portray the feeling of it. It wasn't just that answer, It was everything it represented You threaten them, They threaten you. You threaten that their threats don't threaten you. You just don't get it though, I doubt you ever will. You're a liar. And you don't care. You're so angry at a world that did nothing to you. You've given up. And I wonder if you'll ever pick it back up again. I watched it all, As I always have since day one. I didn't know what to say, And still don't. I hope you realize one day, EXACTLY what you have put us through. I also somewhat hope that you don't, and somewhat that you do, Have kids because they will put you through what you put her through. I followed her out because I didn't know what to say. I reached my end a while back and I just don't know what to do anymore. But I'm not the only one. No one does. She doesn't so She put her hands on you. It scared me. I almost stopped her, But I knew that there was a possibility that it might help. So I didn't. He doesn't so He kept talking to you. It saddened me. I tried to stop him, But I still thought that there was a possibility that it might help. But I did it anyway. I don't so I walked away from you. It hurt me. I couldn't stop myself, But I think that there is a possibility that it might help. So I did it. Because when it all comes down to it, I'll be here. I will always try to help you, Even though you've tried to kill me.

Four Walls and a Tall Pointed Roof

You don't want to be here,
And neither do I.
So why do we come more than twice a year?
It makes little sense to me, but when asked, "why?"
You smile, the smile of masked ignorance and displayed deception,
You say, "Because we must darling. It is right."
After all Life itself revolves around the shining sun,
Not only in day, but also at night.

"Never question things dear."
It isn't good for you.
"You are to believe all that you hear.
Even if it's off hue.

Smile now, even if you are lying.
They only care for the way you look
Never-mind what you read in a book.
You are to always live this way,
Life is one big theatre for the arts.
Until your dying day.
After all aren't we supposed to have hearts....?

Whilst Rome Burned

Close your eyes.
Drown out the screaming.
Try to think about serenity,
As the sides of your life,
That you love,
Tear each other's hearts out.

Bite your lip.
Talking's reaction is screaming.
If it's perception that matters,
Than I don't have one.

There's so much blood.
Don't hurt her too much.

Hold your breath.
Ignore the screaming about slapping.
I'll sit on the park bench.
Will you sit on the spinning wheel?
I won't cry.
It would be detrimental.

After Britain beats America
Let me at least recognize the colonists.
Please.

Shut.
Bite.
Breath.
Slap.
Shut.
Bite.
Breathe.
Slap.
Squeeze.
Chew.
Hold.
Slit.

Breathe. Don't think, stop trying, don't start fighting.
FLY!

I'll ignore life to live.

Each Day

And so it begins
Round two, at least until another day ends

Only one day,now that's having high hopes
But you can't blame her she's just a scapegoat.
I know you're all struggling by,
Wondering if this is the end that's drawn nigh.
However I promise you, it's not.
You have to wait, at least until the water is hot
Before you make such outrageous statements.
Remember your proper placement.

She has had a hard week too,
Overlooking, so have you.
No matter how much you wish to escape from this
You cannot, for it doesn't ever miss.

So run along now.
Go and play,
For tomorrow is another day.
We must have made that clear somehow....

Oh, but never-mind if we have not,
It is never too late to be caught.

And so goes on this viscious cycle
On, and on like, like the supposed Michael
It has a good way of coming back around
Even though you never stomped on that mound to begin with.

All of Us

If we all really go through this,
If we all feel this pain that makes us hiss,
Then they laugh better than I can

If we all must lift weights,
If it's only a matter of fate,
Then they are stronger than I am.

She's smiles better than me.

If we all must run this race,
If we all get punched in the face,
Then their blood must clot faster than mine.

If we all walk a tight rope,
If everyone of us loses hope,
Then they have better balance than I do.

He can do it better than me.

If we all close our eyes,
If we've all been bound with ties,
Then they can walk around blind, but I can't.

If we all feel out of place,
If we're all decked out in lace,
Then they can read a map better than me.

They all deceive better than me.

If we all must write our name,
If everyone needs someone to blame,
Then they can do it better than I can.

If we all must bury the dead,
If we could only be you instead,
Then they can shovel faster than me.

It is just better than me.

If we all do this
Why does each other not know?
Surely it's not
All for the sake of show.

Why must we be silent,
Why can we not find it?
The words, that is, to say I'm bleeding,
And indeed in need of healing?

Why will we always suffer alone,
Together?
Only to die abandoned,
Surrounded?

Carrying In Reasonable Efforts

They all talked about you.
You made them smile.
And laugh too.
Apparently you would "go the extra mile"
I was uncertain, and unsure what you would really do.
Though I was clueless because I had only heard,
But never seen you.

Then I met you.
You were all they said and more.
I could tell you were true.
You were honest down to the core.
And I was fond of you too.
She never had to say a word.

I was blinded by your swift tongue
We discussed politics and laws
Your vast knowledge made me feel so young.
Laughed at religion and it's flaws.
Just like that my song had been sung,
I suddenly became a caged bird.

Happiness,
That must be what I feel.
Though only from a far off,
Because I have been placed under a seal.
Where I'm only allowed a nod and a cough.
My head is beginning to real.
I don't believe this, it's too absurd.

See, from anyone but her,
I had prepared my wits.
For I knew it was impossible for a sir.
I had an emergency kit,
Prepared for how they always were.
This is where the lines become blurred.

This is where a house, aged a dozen and four years,
As you pack her things is becoming vacant
Smiling for her through all my fears,
I wonder for how long I can take it.
Holding back the tears.
I wonder if I'll make it.
Now my speech is slurred.

I was prepared for the entire world to move out,
Because I knew she would protect me.
So when she said she's going a different route,
My mind begins to flee.
I am stunned and can only shout.
I swear she's being lured.

I'll shout at her and especially you.
Until I can sit calmly and except this,
I'll shout until I'm through.
And as I see you kiss, wrapped completely in bliss,
I'm finally experiencing that giving up your life's indefinite is a very scary thing to do
And my faith's complete obliteration has finally occurred.

Congratulations, you are the first to infiltrate my stability
And for the first time I must truly stand on my own.